Jet Fuel Formula Episode 13: The Backseat Divers or Mashed Landing/Transcript
(the plane's engine is heard sputtering) Narrator: '''Well, our heroes are really up in the air this time. Searching for mooseberries, a secret ingredient for their rocket fuel formula, they wound up on board a plane piloted by Boris Badenov. His partner, Natasha, fastened them into their seats with one-way belts, and then bailed out. In the pilot's compartment, Boris gleefully smashed all the instruments, threw out the steering wheel, and prepared to follow Natasha. '''Boris: '''I hate to leave a place that holds such pleasant memories. '''Narrator: '''But at that moment, the damaged radio crackled, and a voice said... '''Fearless Leader: ''(on radio) Calling Boris Badenov. This is Central Control. You reading me? '''Boris: '''Yes, Fearless Leader. '''Fearless Leader: '(on radio) ''Plans are changed. Moose must finish finding formula. Do not--repeat--Do not kill Moose! '''Boris: '''Make up your mind! '''Fearless Leader: '(on radio) ''What was that?! '''Boris: '''I said, "Yes, Fearless Leader." '''Narrator: '''And Boris dashed back into the cabin just as all three engines conked out. '''Rocky: '''Hey, captain, give us a hand here! '''Boris: '''Well, something seems to be the trouble? '''Rocky: '''Get us out of these belts. They're stuck! '''Boris: '''Of course! ''(Boris frees Rocky and Bullwinkle with a key) Rocky: '''How come the engine stopped? '''Boris: '''Oh, because we're going to land. '''Rocky: '''Well, how come we're landing? '''Boris: ''(frustrated) Because the engine stopped, you...(friendly and pats Rocky) ...nice little chap. ''(chuckles) Rocky: 'We'd better jump for it. ''(Bullwinkle opens the exit door and prepares to jump) '''Bullwinkle: '''Right, Rocky! Let's go! '''Boris: '''Wait!! '''Rocky: '''No, Bullwinkle. I can glide down, but you need a parachute. '''Bullwinkle: '''I knew I was forgetting something. '''Boris: ''(to himself) Moose has got to be safe. ''(to Bullwinkle) ''Here, take mine. '''Bullwinkle: '''Wouldn't think of it. '''Boris: '''TAKE IT! ''(suddenly friendly) ''I insist. '''Bullwinkle: '''Well, thanks. '''Rocky: '''Come on, Bullwinkle! ''(Rocky flies out of the plane) Bullwinkle: ''(to Boris) You're sure you don't need it? '''Boris: '''No, no! We got lots of others! ''(Bullwinkle jumps out of the plane and follows Rocky before Boris finishes) Boris: '...that I just threw overboard. Oh, Boris, why didn't you become violinist like mama wanted? '''Narrator: '''And while our heroes floated earthward, the plane bearing Boris sank lower and lower.... ''(CRASH!) 'Narrator: '...and finally came to rest on a tall tree. The tree was already occupied. (Natasha is seen next to the plane) 'Natasha: '''Oh, there you are, dollink! I thought you'd never get here! '''Boris: '''Me, too. ''(cut to Rocky and Bullwinkle who call out to "Ace" and "Miss Callahan") 'Rocky: '''Hello, up there! You all right, Ace? '''Boris: '''Certainly! We always land this way! It saves wear and tear on the wheels! '''Narrator: '''A short time later, after our boys had rescued the two spies from their precarious perch... '''Rocky: '''Ace, I think you and Miss Callahan better head back for town while Bullwinkle and I push on to... ''(Rocky realizes he has said too much) 'Boris: '''To where? '''Rocky: '''Never mind. ''(Rocky and Bullwinkle leave "Ace" and "Miss Callahan" behind) '''Rocky: ''(hushed to Bullwinkle) He's just a little too curious to suit me, Bullwinkle. '''Bullwinkle: '''Curious? He's downright odd. ''(cut to Boris) Boris: 'Quickly, Natasha, we must follow them. '''Narrator: '''And the two spies began trailing our boys through the woods. ''(cut to a river where Rocky and Bullwinkle are standing) '''Bullwinkle: '''Uh, let's see now. As I reck-a-member, Mooseberry Island is right this way. Yup! There it is! '''Rocky: '''But look! '''Narrator: '''Well, this was a fine how-have-you-been, for Mooseberry Island was surrounded by barbed wire and warning signs. '''Rocky: ''(reads the signs) "Keep out. Mooseberry Blight. Quarantined." '''Bullwinkle: '''Gee, the whole island's off limits. '''Rocky: '''Well, there must be one healthy bush on that island. But how do we get to it? '''Bullwinkle: '''Well, a little barbed wire isn't going to stop Bullwinkle J. Moose! I got a scheme! '''Narrator: '''Quickly, Bullwinkle outlined his plan. He would enter the water above the island, swim with the current till he reached it, find a healthy bush, and then swim back below the island. '''Rocky: '''Now, you're sure it'll work, Bullwinkle? ''(Bullwinkle leaps off the ground and stops in mid-air above the water) 'Bullwinkle: '''Of course it will. I thought of every little thing...except one. '''Rocky: '''What's that? '''Bullwinkle: '''I can't swim!! ''(SPLASH!) 'Narrator: '''And Bullwinkle was carried off by the swift current. Unfortunately, there was another thing that he hadn't figured on. Right below Moosebery Island was deadly Thundering Falls. And before Rocky could move, Bullwinkle was swept over the edge! Be with us next time for ''"Bullwinkle's Water Follies" or "Antlers Aweigh!"